A reoccurring theme in my life these past few months has been the simple, yet complex word called why. Life seems to be full of whys. Why did he or she have to die? Why is my life like this? Why can’t I be like this person? Why can’t my life be better, like the way I want it to be?
Now, let me make something clear: I don’t have all the answers. Actually, I can hardly even answer these questions myself. I ask why questions all the time, constantly wanting a better life where I have more money and a bigger house.
These why questions grew and expanded when my dad died from small cell lung cancer on January 2nd, 2010. Why did my dad have to die? Why couldn’t God have answered my prayer of healing for my dad? Why me? Why my family? I had done nothing wrong. Why was God picking on me? Why would he allow this to happen?
Like I said before, I don’t know everything and I’m not going to pretend to. But I will let you know what I believe and trust is the truth. I believe that God, in his all-knowingness, has a bigger and better plan for us that we are not able to see. It was in His will for my dad to die. God allowed him to die, God KNEW he was going to die, yet He did nothing about it. Why would God, who is a loving God, let him die and let me grieve and suffer from his departure from this earth? Honestly, I don’t know.
The only thing I can take comfort from is that God does everything for a reason and His ways are unknown. I truly cannot fathom why he would want to take my father away from my family, but I still trust that God’s plans are the best for me.
My dad once told me that if one person came to Christ because of his testimony and his cancer, that all his pain, all his treatments, all of his trouble, would be worth it. Maybe through his death, God will work a movement. Maybe through my dad’s passing, someone will come to accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior. Maybe there is a reason that God allowed my dad to die. Maybe someday soon, that reason will be revealed to me.
Many times, I don’t agree with God’s plan. Many times, I get frustrated and upset wit God’s plan because of the way things have turned out. But I have to remind myself that only God can see the overall scheme of things and that I’m just along for the ride. I have to keep remembering that God is in control of everything, even my puny, unimportant, life.
Someday, when I myself die and appear in Heaven, all of my why questions will be answered. Although some of my questions will be answered in my life here on earth, I cannot wait to have the answers available to me in the glorious realm of God’s Eternal Kingdom.
So what can you do today to get the answers to your why questions? First of all, read God’s Word (that’s the Bible, for those of you who didn’t know that). The Bible has countless answers to our daily questions, so this is a great place to start. It doesn’t matter where you start reading, just flip through until you find a certain passage that coincides with your question. Second of all, pray. God can speak through prayer, and there is definitely a undefinable peace that comes with this intimate conversation with your Creator.
I will close with this: My dad touched many people’s lives with his testimony. I’m not sure if anyone came to know Christ because of his witness, but I know he has certainly challenged my relationship with Jesus and helped strengthen my faith. What I’m asking you to do is consider your relationship with Jesus Christ, the Son of God. Do you have a personal relationship with Him? Do you believe that He died on the Christ for your sins, so that you could have the chance to live with Him forever in Heaven? Or are you a hater of Jesus? Whatever status you are, I ask that you evaluate your life. Maybe God is calling you towards Him, and all you have to do is give in to His call and obey. Who knows? Maybe He will answer all of your why questions. I know He is starting to answer all of mine.